Posts Tagged ‘Facebook

I think that the minimum age to sign up should be 18. I also think that Facebook’s original intent to be for college students and alumni was probably the best. It was a very good networking tool prior to the emergence of Linkedin. Facebook lost something when they expanded to allow the general public.

You have to be far more careful with what you post and have stricter privacy settings now. I have younger cousins under 18 on Facebook and they post some items that are TMI. They don’t know what the risks are and how to set the privacy setting and their parents don’t know enough to help them.

As a parent with family members spread throughout the US and no where near my family I have decided to allow my 9 year old onto Facebook simply so that the kid can be in contact with brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles and grandparents. This is also supplemented with Socialeyes for video calls.

Now with that said, the child is monitored, friends must be approved by myself or dad, if we don’t know them, they aren’t approved and are removed. Absolutely NO GAMES! Picture sharing approved after we see the pictures that they would like to post and only Family can view them. Absolutely no personal information on the site what so ever, so the profile is vague and limited. The child is only allowed to use Facebook if the child asks and we are home.

Seeing the child doesn’t have any kids cell phone, there is no chance of sneaking on the site without us knowing and we know when the child is on the computer as we only allow the child to get on when we’re home and only if we’re asked. If the child is caught on the computer without our knowing, boy you know how easy it is to remove said computer from a room? Let me tell you that leaves an impression on our young one.

We’ve also installed a timer switch on the electric cord that the child has no clue about since it’s hidden under a dresser that allows operation of the machine during certain times of the day. It shuts off after bed time, so no electricity, no computer. With that said, we’ve been doing this for almost 6 months now and it has been working great. We do monitor what is being said by the child so we’re very aware of what is going on.

Now if you are a parent considering this, please be diligent, kids are smart, they can be as sneaky as you were when you were their age or worse. So be proactive, set rules and guidelines, serious consequences and monitor the usage like crazy. If you can’t do that then don’t bother letting them on unless you want a negative experience for you and them.

As long as your kids are talking to you, it can be worked out, whatever the situation. We talk about controversial subjects in my home also. I don’t think that it is me being naive about what my children are doing if one of my daighter’s friends gets pregnant and we use the situation as a teaching tool.

We have had to delete some posts on their Facebook account but for the most part, my kids know what is appropriate and what is not. They are also friends with their grandparents and people from our church. It is my job as a parent to know what my kids are doing and to make sure as they grow up that they know the difference between right and wrong. I don’t know that there is an “age” that you can set on Facebook.

I believe that it depends on each kid individually and that is also part of my job as a parent. They do not have separate pages. Our computer is in the living room. We have to grow with our children and be able to talk with them about what is relevant in their society to bettter help prepare them for the future. This is the time and we are the teachers in helping them learn to interact with their peers.

Parents who think they know their childs passwords don’t realize there child has another Facebook for just them and there friends not the one Mommy and Daddy know about. I have stumbled upon them a few times when searching out friends. and Facebook dosent know that the child has signed up using fake info such as age and dates.

Kids are not stupid and know how to minapulate the system very well. Also how many parents know about so many kids in there using false info and age and dates so many accepting peope they do not know and some stuff going on that parents would be shocked at.. its not just FACEBOOK!

Social maturity is variable but parental guidance can constructively shape and drive it. My son has been on Facebook since 10, I am an active friend and monitor, and we talk about what is being posted including comments and photos, etc. He has to take down anything I overrule, but always in the context of a discussion about “why” so that he develops better judgement, discernment and (hopefully!) taste.

He is also limited to amount of Facebook time, and only after homework or chores are finished and lots of daily exercise and activity has occurred. I don’t see FB as any different than anything else that requires me to live up to my role as an active mother engaged every day in helping my child grow up over time to be a socially responsible, fun and good human being.

It’s much better to know your child’s password and observe them online than to say “No internet for you” and have them sneak around you. And they will sneak around you. My niece joined Facebook when she was eleven, lying and saying her age was thirteen. Rather than report her, and have her simply make another account with a false name that I couldn’t track, I added her and kept an eye on what she did. This is my niece, mind you, not my own child.

Children do what they want. Being honest with them, and giving them logical reasons for your actions, and the actions you expect of them is much more effective than trying to completely control what they do, with no regard to how they feel, while repeating “I’m the adult, I’m right.” In their minds, if what you do makes them unhappy, than you can’t be right. Things like that are going to decrease the amount of respect they have for you, and the amount of credence they give to what you say. Of course, you are the parent. You’re free to screw your child up anyway you like.

I speak as an 18 year old who grew up with a healthy balance of Facebook, the mall, and other virtual and real life social situations. Sheltering children from the real world will never give them the experience they need to become well rounded adults. In fact, I’ve come to believe that sheltering children and not allowing them the RIGHT to make mistakes and learn from them is the quickest way to leave a child psychologically scarred for life. As soon as the child experiences something out of the ordinary, the effects can be drastic.

The best thing you can do is teach your children starting at an early age about the Internet and everything revolving around it. Restricting your children and not allowing them to learn from mistakes is simply wrong.And before anyone tries to invalidate my argument by saying that I’m only 18 and I couldn’t possibly understand because I don’t have children of my own, let me just say that I am the middle of 5 children, with two older brothers and two younger twin brothers. I have seen one parenting style utilized on my older brothers, and a very different parenting style utilized on my younger brothers.

I happened to be at the perfect age to adequately experience both. In seeing my older brothers graduate from high school and then from college, I have come to believe that demanding but nonrestrictive parenting breeds successful children. Never once did my father not allow my older brothers to do something simply because he didn’t want them to get into trouble. He ALWAYS allowed them to experience a plethora of different things, and several times they got themselves into trouble. But they learned from those mistakes.

After my parents’ divorce, my younger brothers and I lived with my mother, who, through a long string of boyfriends and husbands, wasn’t completely involved in our parenting. She was, however, intensely involved with things like the Internet and ensuring we didn’t go certain places or do certain things on the Internet. She wasn’t demanding about our schoolwork, but she was demanding about the people we made friends with and what we were allowed to do.

So, to bring an end to my long narrative, let me say this. My older brothers both graduated high school and college with honors, and are both quite successful, one as a lawyer and the other as a history professor. My younger brothers? Although they’re incredibly intelligent, they finished their freshman year of high school with straight C’s. I attribute this mostly to my mother’s parenting style, and only somewhat to the divorce.